Empty in Between
by kiddo33
Summary: Cuddy's devastated after losing Joy and needs to re-evaluate her life. Taking a well deserved holiday, Vancouver BC is the place Lisa Cuddy goes to deal with her pain. Post Joy 5x06.
1. Chapter 1

The title of this story, and several other lines, were inspired by the lyrics of Tegan and Sarah.

My fanfiction begins two days post- 'Joy' (5x06). Every other episode, though brilliant, has not happened.

* * *

Chapter 1 (Initial Decent)

Readjusting in her seat, Lisa Cuddy absentmindedly peered at the scenery passing below. The sight of the awe-inspiring mountains and naturally fashioned creeks and rivers, weren't lost on her, but her thoughts were deep and she found it hard to really appreciate what she was seeing.

Events from the past three days kept running through her mind. Over and over again she tried to work out where she had gone wrong, what she could have done differently. Many things came to mind, but she knew analyzing and wishing wouldn't change the original result.

The child she envisioned teaching, laughing with, watching grow into an adult, was taken from her before it was truly hers.

Maybe she jinxed it by painting the room and getting the furniture. No, _they_ told her to do that. Preparation was key, especially in the months to come; she wouldn't have much time to spare and it would get her into the swing of things.

When she was 15 she had went through a phase of stealing red shaded lip balm. She'd never been in a believer of Karma but now thought it to be a possibility. No, she thought to herself again, not for the lip balm. The guilt she felt was too overwhelming and she secretly returned the unopened items back to their merchants.

It wasn't Karma. It didn't feel like Karma. She didn't _want_ it to be Karma. She wanted someone or something to blame. Someone other than the imprudent birth mother needed to be held accountable for her loss. A complaint needed to be made; someone at customer service had to get an earful about this. Though she knew no vouchers would be given, Cuddy wanted more than a whimper of an apology. An injustice had been served and it wasn't fair. She was a good woman, a doctor, if she wanted to be righteous, why did this happen to her?

A tear silently rolled down Cuddy's cheek, and as fast as it had appeared, she wiped it away. Asking herself that question more than she would like to admit, Lisa sat back in the cushy airline seat and sighed a heavy sigh.

Taking a sip of orange juice, a downgrade from her typical glass of champagne, Cuddy tried to ease her mind. She rationalized and knew she had to stop feeling sorry for herself. Bad things happen to good people all the time and it must be her turn.

"Ma'am, just so you know, we'll be landing soon."

Snapped out of her reverie, Lisa smiled meekly and thanked the airline host. The pity the crewmembers held for her was obvious and brutal to endear. Lost was her typical, proud self and replaced was a miserable form too sad to care who noticed. The soft kindness and head tilts that accompanied their sympathetic smiles was too much though.

Her thoughts still clouded with the few days just past, Cuddy thought of the other strange event that had occurred: House had kissed her. He had come to her house upon hearing the news and attempted to comfort her. He tried to make her feel better; he might have even encouraged her to try again if they hadn't begun to kiss.

Another reason she needed a holiday. Too many emotions were close to the surface and before anyone was unintentionally smacked for doing something innocent, Lisa took a vacation.

She'd met with him a couple minutes prior to leaving and merely instructed him to stay on his best behavior, neither of them speaking of the previous nights happenings.

And what would she have said? I found it quite nice, didn't you? Or would she have been more practical? Asked him what it meant, what he was thinking and feeling. It most likely would have been the latter and she knew the response she would've received. Several sarcastic comments followed by a crude joke and she would have elicited a typical, immature answer leaving her more vulnerable than the day before.

So they left it. A silent agreement was made that they wouldn't touch on the subject without any credible reason.

Her features softened as she remembered how good it felt to be with him like that. His arms around her were a sensation she thought she'd never have the pleasure of experiencing again. It'd been so long and they were such good friends, that it held different meaning and it gave her a different rush of excitement. Through disappoint and tears of losing a child, Cuddy saw a side to House she thought he would never show her again.

Day in and day out this man would berate, belittle and bend over backwards to make her life a living hell. Disregarding her authority he would make it his mission to embarrass her or prove she was an unfit doctor, or in more recent days, an unfit mother. He never hesitated or considered her feelings, but when they were stood in her hallway, her eyes pleading and tear streaked, he let his guard down and silently took it all back.

Did she lose one thing and gain another? House would tell her that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. But did this development in their relationship come at the cost of losing Joy? Because if that were the case, she would gladly trade House for the child…. or would she?

Before Cuddy could start over analyzing this sudden revelation, an announcement declaring their gradual decent to Vancouver, B.C, had begun, and Cuddy pressed the pause button on thoughts concerning a certain diagnostician back in New Jersey.

With the harbor getting closer and the sun setting over an orange-red sky, Cuddy was glad for the getaway. Tall trees and vast amounts of ocean were in perfect sight and for a minute, the ache in Cuddy's heart dulled.

Her sister was kind enough to offer her holiday home in Vancouver, Canada for a couple days and she couldn't be happier for the chance to get away.

* * *

A/N: I know where this is going but would really appreciate honest reviews from this point in. Suggestions and constructive criticism is encouraged!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I decided the first chapter wasn't much so I finished the second in a bit of a rush.

* * *

Chapter 2 (N.W.O.)

"Sweet," House breathed under his breath, his eye's searching the hospital lobby for any signs of administration.

An hour and a half late, House strolled into the hospital carefree. He half expected a Cuddy wanna-be patrolling the hospital entrance for culprits like him, but the coast appeared to be clear.

Too many times he's experienced lowly assistants and obnoxious board members trying to snap him into line the moment the boss was out of the office, but it was a nice change of pace not having to argue his way out of an innocent sleep in.

Hitting the 'up' button on the elevator, House hummed a nameless tune.

"You're late," Wilson said coming up beside House, a folder in hand.

Checking his watch and mocking surprise, "Well would you look at that, I _am_ late."

Rolling his eyes Wilson began to read the file as he and House entered the elevator.

"You know Cuddy put Foreman and Cameron in charge of keeping you in line, right? Cameron's bringing you files from the ER and Foreman needs to agree with any wild tests you'll be sure to run."

House bounced his cane and watched the numbers indicating what floor they were passing, light up. He knew Foreman and Cameron would be the forerunners while Cuddy was gone, but what he was more curious to know was who would be the ultimate decider if things got really hairy.

"And let me guess, the final vote doesn't go to the audience but one James Wilson if Foreman and I result in a tie?"

Stopping at the appropriate floor, Wilson and House left the lift, "Yes."

He simply walked away and left House with his thoughts.

Finding his indifference interesting, House was slightly more annoyed he didn't get to share his latest piece of gossip. Two days post-kiss and House still hadn't told Wilson. The information had settled and decided a days worth of digestion was plenty and he had to share the information with his partner in crime. He'd been doing a grand job avoiding any over analyzing but knew it was time to come to terms, Cuddy wouldn't be on holiday forever and he needed another, more emotionally channeled, individuals opinion.

Deciding it could wait a couple more hours, House headed for his office.

"Well," he started without properly announcing himself, "what'd Miss Teen Nebraska bring us today?" He dropped his backpack out of the way and proceeded to take off his coat.

"You're late." Foreman stated.

"And you know how to tell time." House said easily, beginning to take tally of how often Foreman was going to call him out on things; pay back would be immanent once order was restored.

"Well she…" Kutner began but was quickly cut off.

"I'm sure it won't be challenging, I'm sure it won't be worth my valuable time and I'm _positive _it won't be Lupus. But what the heck, I feel like a million bucks this morning- humor me."

House seated himself at the head of the glass table and, with his arms folded across his chest, waited to be unimpressed.

"Cameron hasn't brought us anything." Kutner said, finishing what would have been his original sentence.

Taking in the scene he walked into, House noticed the deck of playing cards between Taub and Kutner and the open book in front of Thirteen. Foreman was reading a paper and merely shrugged when House looked his direction.

"Huh." Surprised the rambunctious blond didn't take the first opportunity to exercise her temporary influence over House and House's team, the man stood up and exited the room.

"Where are you going?" Thirteen shouted after him, her patients already spread thin from him being late and lack of a case.

"Page me when there's actual work to be done." Said House from the other side of the glass wall.

Why Cameron wasn't at his door, seven files in hand, preaching to him about punctuality, was lost on him. The woman had a knack for zipping to his side at each plausible reason she found. While he was interested to know why Cameron wasn't around when he expected her to be, House headed to another colleague to harass.

Without knocking, House barged into Wilson's office to find him examining a set of x-rays.

He sat down without saying a word, deciding Wilson needed to initiate the conversation.

"What?" Asked the oncologist after a minute of silence.

Sitting forward and resting his chin on his folded hands crossed over his cane, House thought of the best way he could deliver the news.

"I went to Cuddy's the other night,"

Wilson nodded in accordance when House took a moment too long to continue, "and?"

"And we kissed."

"You kissed her?"

"No," he corrected, "we kissed each other. There's a difference."

"Not really." Wilson said, his mind digesting this new information.

House sat back more comfortably, "Yes, really."

Not in the mood to argue technicalities, Wilson waved it off, "Whatever. But you kissed?"

"She was upset, she shouted and we kissed." House said as if it were the most natural occurrence in the world.

Shocked House had finally done something about his and Cuddy's twisted relationship, Wilson didn't know where to start. He'd actually been quite upset with the way House handled the adoption and was meaning to talk to him about it.

It would have gone something like this: He would chastise him for treating their good friend with little compassion and zero respect. House would rationalize, argue that he was being what no one else wanted to be: the voice of reason. And a lesson would be lost on a man in complete denial.

Knowing how it would end before it began; Wilson saved his breath for another day. But with this new revelation, Wilson began to analyze House's attitude towards Cuddy's adoption in a completely different light.

"I didn't go over there to kiss her, if that's what you're thinking." He added quickly before Wilson got any ideas.

Pushing all his other analytical questions to the side, Wilson focused on his motives, "Then why _did_ you go over there? You knew she'd be upset, you knew she'd take it out on you," taking a breath and recalling the days events, "you bullied her into such self-doubt I can't imagine what she was feeling. You did all you could to convince her she wasn't fit for the job."

"I know," House muttered, afraid to admit he was quite ashamed. He stared out the window and tried to remember his initial reasons for going over there.

The moments leading up to him arriving were all a blur, but it felt natural, like he was going to pester her in her office. But instead it was her home and she had just suffered a terrible loss. And when he saw her, broken and stripped of whatever armor she had, he broke inside too.

She was right to be angry with him, but he wasn't ready for how he would feel when she was.

He was genuinely confused, her question was so simple and innocent, he couldn't think of anything remotely smart, just the truth.

"_Why do you need to negate everything?"_

_"I dunno."_

When it came out of his mouth, he knew it wasn't a lie. He was being sincere; no ulterior motives in mind. He wasn't afraid and he wasn't trying to manipulate her, he was just being honest. Then he began to look, really look. All he saw was her. Not _her_ the administrator or _her_ the doctor, but _her_ the woman. She was beautiful, smart, kind and in that moment he didn't want anything more than to comfort her, to hold her and tell her everything would be all right…

"House?"

Snapped from his trance, House kept his composer and turned to Wilson.

"I don't know why I went over there." He said just as honestly as he had been the night at Cuddy's.

His confusion evident, he repeated to himself, "I don't know."

Wilson just stared in silent awe. After years of angst, arguing and arbitrary circumstances, his two closest friends were finally taking the necessary steps to being happy.

"Well what are you going to do?"

Looking up, House wracked his brain, trying to predict the future outcome of the sticky situation he found himself in was far more difficult than he anticipated. Frustrated, he stood up to leave.

"I don't know," He stated for the third time.

"House, what are you going to do? She's your boss and she won't be gone forever," House stood to leave but the information was starting to settle for Wilson and he was quickly becoming worried for his two friends. House and Cuddy went way back and knew that this could end very well or very, very bad.

"Thank-you, Captain Obvious," House started for the door and called back to Wilson as he left, "Maybe by the time she's back things would have blown over- two days is like forever in woman years."

* * *

A/N: I'm not very happy with this, to be honest. But I need to keep myself moving or it'll stay on my hard drive for another two weeks and come out the same as it is now. Getting House's emotions was a bit tougher than I thought it would be. Hopefully I'll be a bit more satisfied with the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Cheers to all that have reviewed. Three has always been my lucky number but I'm more than happy to settle on four ;)

Anyway, this one wasn't rushed but was published a bit late in the night (or early in the morning). I was too eager and very aware that I wouldn't have much time to spend as I'm moving tomorrow and start school on Monday! I've got the next three chapters written but they need brutal editing. So to my four reviewers, please be patience! I know my fanfiction is the reason you get up in the morning, but it's going to take some time.

* * *

Chapter 3 (They Say Sing For Your Supper, Sing For Your Pain)

Waking to the sound of birds chirping, Cuddy stretched in bed. She lied there for about half an hour before getting up and making coffee. Her day wasn't going to be spent doing much but enjoying the peace and quite. She designated times to check her phone, but the hours and minutes leading up to those scheduled times were empty. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was still hers and she wasn't going to leave it for dead, no matter how tempting the idea. Giving Wilson and her assistant the number for the house line to call if anything was positively serious, she directed them, and anyone else wishing to contact her, to leave a message on her cell-phone.

Taking her time with a morning routine she could never abandon, no matter what the circumstances, Cuddy's mind drifted to House. She found it odd that the smell of coffee reminded her of him. It must have been the particular brand, but nonetheless, she was thinking of him.

Tightening her grip on the mug, Cuddy closed her eyes and let the memory of her and House kissing envelope her.

The way he looked at her, the shift in his gaze. How soft and dare she assume, sorry, he looked. Just as hers were, his defenses were gone from him. There was nothing but truth and regret hanging between them and it was quickly dissolved when he took a small step towards her and put his lips against hers. Instinctively she put her hands on either sides of his face, but gradually they drew closer and her arms found their way to his back, pulling him nearer.

Time stood still; in that moment he was still the man she employed, but he was also a man she'd known and revered for ages. To think he was capable of such passion was something she had never really considered.

The first time they had been together had been careless and frenzied, it held very little meaning and was never verbally mentioned again. When he would stare at her in such a way she could swear his mind was picturing her naked, an image he didn't have to make up. He would taunt her with sly innuendos and sexual comments, reminding her that this wasn't the first time she'd been "on top".

But when they had kissed, he had almost become a different person. A switch had been made and he was gentle and thoughtful. Soon after he had walked out the door as easily he had come and left her lips swollen and her mind buzzing. She wasn't left thinking of 20 some odd years ago when they had a meaningless one night stand, but how natural if felt to have him there.

She knew him long enough to know he didn't visit her that night to kiss her; he wasn't the romantic type. He knew she was upset and he was going to do something about it, try to console her in a less physical way, try to force logic on her that not all hope was lost and she could try again. He was going to be the friend he often wasn't but knew he should be and try to be there for her, the way she had been for him countless times. But the winds had changed and he must not have expected to see her in such a state or else he wouldn't have looked so shocked when she approached him, anger coursing through her veins. Nevertheless, she was glad things ended the way they did. Looking back on their history she deducted that it was only natural they take this course. Where the road led though, she didn't know.

She opened her eyes to a view she knew he would appreciate, mountains spread from left to right, covered in greenery and random spots of white at the peaks. The clouds were few and far between but gave the sight before her a sense of definition and calm. She knew he wasn't one for nature but she also knew he appreciated a good sight when he saw one. His talents, intelligence and personality ran deep and it excited her to think that he might let her into that small space of his and allow her to see him for who he really was.

Finished with her breakfast and back dated edition of The Times, Cuddy decided to take a bath, something she rarely had time for during her busy workweek.

She relaxed in the tub and imagined House in there with her, his leg unscarred and his demeanor relaxed and tranquil. The bubbles would dance between them and his smile from the opposite side of the tub would elicit a small spark inside of her.

What am I thinking? Cuddy asked herself, falling back to reality.

She'd always been told that the line between love and hate was a thin one, but Cuddy knew House thought different. She loved the idea of him being easy going, relaxed and sweet with her, but in reality she didn't know if that side existed. She's been given a small glimpse but wasn't certain on how deep the well went. The down side to leaving so quickly was that she didn't get the chance to ask him what it all meant. She could be logical, try to understand what he was thinking, but in reality, no one ever knows what he's thinking. He was a pessimist, a realist if he wanted to be precise. Arrogant and giant pain in the ass were words she frequently used when describing him. And as nice of an idea as being with him was, she wasn't sure he would want to be with her

Out of the bath and tired of the ping-pong game that had begun in her mind concerning

House, Cuddy stared into the bathroom mirror and unwillingly, began to dwell on Joy and her disastrous efforts to have a child.

If permitted, Cuddy would go to jail with only boys to prove she was as tough as them, be released on good behavior and go back to playing baseball and scraping her knees without a tear shed. But years later, jail time and skinned knees behind her, she was left vulnerable at her failed attempts to find happiness. She sacrificed so much for her success and was being punished for slapping away the hands that offered her a chance at that happiness in the past.

Sighing at her reflection she spoke to herself, "Self pity doesn't suit you."

This time away from home was for her to think of what she'd become and what she was going to do now.

She'd tried to find a boyfriend, potential husbands and a white picket fence, but she grew tired of the losers and _boys_ unable to deal with her success (and on a rare occasion, House). Next was IVF. A fallback for couples unable to conceive on their own. Sperm donors and boosted hormones proved useless and she failed… again. Adoption was always something she considered, but never gave much thought to- she knew no one would willingly give a child to a single, workaholic mother. It made her sad to know she was right.

Three strikes and she was out. Out of what exactly, she didn't know. But she'd been playing and winning games for far too long. The universe kept itself balanced by denying her a child and a family; the toll an extremely successful medical career.

A re-evaluation and for the time away, she was glad for.

Deciding to take a ride on her niece's horse, Cuddy eventually got dressed and strapped on a pair of her sisters riding boots. An experienced rider, she was excited to get back on a horse. With the hours at the hospital and lack of free time, she rarely got to do it anymore.

Just as she was about to head to the stables, Cuddy heard the persistent ring of the phone from inside the house.

Hesitant to answer, she went against her better judgment and ran to answer the telephone.

"Hello?"

"Cuddy? Hi, it's, it's James." Wilson identified himself on the other end of the line.

"Wilson, hi. Is everything…"

"Everything's fine," Wilson interrupted, feeling guilty for disturbing her when she specifically asked for no disturbances.

"Okay…" Lisa said when the line went silent.

"House," Wilson started but hitched, "House told me what happened. I'm just calling to make sure you're alright."

Smiling into the phone Cuddy relaxed, "I'm fine, thank-you."

He waited for her to continue but when she didn't he took that as a sign to go on, "Well, if you need to talk to know where to find me."

Appreciating Wilson's concern, Cuddy's smile stuck, "I know. Thank-you. I'm sure you got the low down from House so I don't need to tell you anything." Cuddy rolled her eyes; she could swear those two were gossiping girls in a previous lifetime. "I was upset, he was there, I shouted and we, we kissed."

Wilson held back a chuckle and smiled into the phone, these two were made for each other, "That's what he said."

Holding back a sigh, she readjusted her stance and shook herself from romantic memories of House.

She knew she could trust James impeccably but she wasn't in a state to gush out her feelings and expect him to console her. She took this time off for a reason and she was going to spend it wisely.

On the other end Wilson tugged at a piece of thread loose from his lab coat, "Okay. Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

A click registered the lines disconnecting and Cuddy quickly went back about her day before consumed with thoughts and feelings concerning House.

* * *

A/N: the above comment about this fanfiction being the reason you get up in the morning wasn't meant to be taken literally. Re-LAX and re-VIEW. Please.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! Makes me wanna write more and more and more. Anyhow, this is the last chapter I had written so from this point on out I'll be writing then posting. Might take ages but I'm sure you'll live!

* * *

Chapter 4 (Revelations)

House stood to the entrance of the E.R and scoped out the population: many injured people but no over-achieving blonds bobbing about.

Limping to the nearest nurse, House asked where Dr. Cameron could be found.

"She's been in Dr. Cuddy's office most of the morning…"

Only slightly surprised, House left and headed for an office he was all too well acquainted with.

Jumping at the lack of a knock and sudden entrance, it only took Cameron a moment to calm her nerves once she realized who it was.

"This was my second guess." House said limping his way to the couch.

"Should have made it your first."

"Would've if I thought you were that desperate to take over for Cuddy," House delicately propped up his leg on the adjacent coffee table, "Didn't take you for the administrative type. To be honest I thought you'd be bouncing at my side like a little puppy dog on Christmas morning. And what's with leaving the E.R? Helping the sick just not doing it for you anymore? Same thing happened with Cuddy, you know. Look at the woman now…"

Ignoring the insulting remark, Cameron frowned, "Dr. Cuddy has a lot of responsibilities and the ER is fully staffed. She won't be gone for long, just a couple days. I'll return to the ER once she's back, but for now it's a nice change of pace."

Dry swallowing a couple Vicodin, he nodded, "Okay, Cuddy-in-training, why haven't you brought me anything? My moderately qualified team is bored. I'm not," House reassured, "But Thirteen looks ready to mud wrestle the next bitch that crosses her path."

House widened his eyes in exaggerated excitement.

Uninterested in his perverted jokes, Cameron made her impatience evident with a heavy sigh, "I've been reviewing several budgets and have to conduct preliminary evaluations of the senior nursing staff…"

House made his way over to the desk, best known as a solid symbol of Cuddy's authority, his gaze trying to intimidate a woman now impervious to the behavior he was notorious for.

"Doesn't mean you couldn't take two seconds to find me a case."

"You're a grown man, House, find a case on your own."

Her lab coat hanging on the coat tree by the door, House studied her attire: black pantsuit accompanied by a crisp, cream-colored shirt, "You look like a waitress."

Ignoring him again, Cameron matched his gaze, "She told me not to bother giving you any cases. I was instructed to concentrate on the welfare of the hospital and leave you to do… whatever it is you do. I suspect Foreman or Wilson brought you one?"

"Foreman hasn't brought me anything."

"Cuddy must have told him the same thing," She abandoned her task at hand and twisted her face, "What's going on? Why didn't she give you…"

"How the hell should I know," House said, preparing to leave, "by the way, you can try to look like Cuddy, try to sound like Cuddy, but there's no way in hell _you're_ going to get me into that clinic."

* * *

Greeted by the dogs as she stepped outside, Cuddy let the warm October sun bathe her face. She blocked out every negative, lonely thought and allowed the fresh air to cleanse her in a way no shower or bath could. For minutes she stood there and was nothing but an afterthought and was happy with that. She detached her mind from body and concentrated on the air; how it smelt, how if felt, how it didn't hurt or impose. The wind was blowing gently and a few curls fell loose from her ponytail, she didn't bother to put them back or retie her hair, she just let it be. If the wind wanted her hair down, she would let it.

An innocent dog whining distorted her silence and she was forced back to life. Cuddy smiled kindly at the golden lab and patted its head.

The ride was beautiful: her sister owned over two acres of lush trees and hills; something she'd always wanted for herself. Tinged orange and golden shades of brown, the trees whistled with the soft breeze and Cuddy felt at ease, her mind was slowly starting to reboot itself. She couldn't be bothered with forming a new plan of action in that moment, but she was reassured with knowledge that she _wanted _to make a new plan.

The chocolate brown mare gracefully trotted a path it was well acquainted with, taking Cuddy to nowhere in particular. As the afternoon went on the autumn air drew cold Cuddy could no longer deny the hunger growing in her stomach. Turning the horse back towards the house, she decided to retire but not before promising herself and the horse that the next day they would make it up the highest mountain.

* * *

"I'm a giant liability to this hospital," House said simply, "She must have figured I'd do less damage if there was nothing to harm. Brilliant woman, that one."

Wilson took a bite of his tuna salad sandwich and nodded in agreement, "Without a doubt. On both observations."

House's feelings weren't hurt, but his ego was certainly a couple shades of a bruised purple. Having both Foreman and Cameron deliberately keep him from doing his job wasn't something he was particularly impressed with. He could understand if Cuddy was trying to save the hospital money in legal expenses, but asking for Foreman and Cameron to assist was a tad annoying. He had the logic side of the situation sorted, and if he cared in the slightest, he would have done something about the metaphorical slap in the face. He decided to save his ammunition as leverage for a later date.

The other half of Wilson's sandwich was quickly scooped up, "Whatever. If Cuddy going on vacation means I get a few less days of nagging, bitching and clinic, then so be it."

"I was going to eat that, you know?"

Wiping his mouth he stared at the sandwich and took another giant bite, "Yeah but I'm eating it now."

"Should I start packing you your own lunch? You've been doing this for God knows how long." Wilson said in an agitated tone. He had genuinely wanted the other half and was starting to hate House taking what he had spent a quarter of the morning making.

"No, yours will do me just fine, thanks."

Rolling his eyes Wilson wiped his fingers clean and crumpled the napkins, throwing them on the tray in front of him. Only half full, Wilson eyed his best friend.

He'd been working all morning but couldn't help thinking of Cuddy and House, how they were navigating unchartered waters and he knew neither of them had a life raft to spare. Several metaphors pertaining to the Titanic and Pearl Harbor were floating through his mind, but he knew, ever the misanthropist, the same thoughts were running through House's mind too.

"I want you to take a chance with Cuddy, House."

"I know you do. But I'm a rebel, James Dean can't touch this." He replied snidely.

Wilson sighed heavily, wishing he would take this serious.

"It wouldn't last, Wilson" he said almost helplessly, his demeanor and the conversation doing a 180.

"Why?" Wilson asked without hesitation, expecting a pessimistic response such as that.

House stared him down, searching for the answers in the caves of his mind. For the past two days he'd been rationalizing everything. Reasons pertaining to him and his inability to commit being the focal excuses, he couldn't let Wilson know how unbelievably scared he was to make another woman miserable. How scared he was that the feelings he had for Cuddy were genuine and surprisingly strong.

"She's my boss, she's the reason my leg is what it is and she's a giant pain in my ass." He spat off quickly.

Leaning forward, Wilson smirked, "You don't give a damn if she's your boss, you never have. And don't try to and give her that excuse either because you know as well as I do she won't buy it…"

"What makes you think we'll be having a conversation anywhere near the same as this?" House interrupted, trying not to appear intimidated but found it increasingly hard as Wilson began pointing out the flaws of his logic.

Wilson ignored him and carried on, "The accident was ages ago, House. You're pain serves as a constant reminder but… get over it. She's apologized and you've made amends…"

"Get over it? She's the one…"

"…And sure she's a pain, but that's only because you're outrageous and impossible to deal with. She's only a pain in the ass because she knows how to tell you 'no' and still keeps you relatively content with your job. Any other administrator and you would have been out the door four years ago."

They stayed silent for a minute, their intellectual minds attempting to solve the most simple of equations, "House, she's never tried to change you. It's scary to imagine but I'm positive she likes you just the way you are."

Looking away and taking a deep breath, House admitted to himself that Wilson was right. Over the years he'd given Cuddy countless reasons to throw him out on his ass. But she relentlessly defended him to administration and other doctors; making excuses that he was brilliant and that he saved lives. House wasn't naïve, he knew there were more doctors out there willing to comply with hospital regulation and accept a substantial amount less in pay. They would never be as good, but they would conform and do what they were asked without any real argument.

"She's insane," House mumbled so low that if Wilson hadn't been sitting so close he wouldn't have heard him.

"Annnnnd," House drew out as he stood up, quickly deciding the conversation had gotten too serious, "I don't date crazy people."

"You don't date at all," Wilson said to himself as House left the cafeteria.

* * *

A/N: I know it seems like this isn't going anywhere but I promise there's interesting stuff to come! I've got it all planned out so I have no reason not to write it and try to make it GREAT! ;P


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 (Broken Hallelujah)

After an hour of fighting her way through the super market, Cuddy finally made it to the check out, limbs barely in tact.

"Busy evening." she observed, trying not to sound bitter at the lack of efficiency in the buzzing market.

"Yeah, seniors discount day. Gets busier at around this time. Who knew seniors were still up at 7:30," The middle-aged woman began scanning through her items while Cuddy stood on the other side of the register, "You're not from around here, eh?"

Smiling she shook her head and replied with a simple no.

"I could tell. The local families know when to do their shopping. Did you and your husband find everything okay?"

Cuddy looked to a tall man behind her in the line. He'd made a couple comments to her while they were waiting about how to cook white asparagus to perfection. The cashier was clearly confused.

"My hus… oh no," Cuddy started, trying to keep casual and not sound embarrassed, "He's not my… no, I'm here on my own."

The cashier blushed, "Oh right, sorry. I just thought…"

"It's fine," Cuddy smiled nervously to the man behind her. She waited anxiously for her items and went on her way once she paid.

Stopping at the entrance, she began rummaging through her purse to find her keys before setting out to the lot where it was raining.

"You've got a lot of bags there," said a voice from behind.

Swiftly turning around, Cuddy was greeted by the man in the line. She laughed nervously, unsure of what to say.

"Can I help you to your car?" The man smiled a very toothy, very white smile.

She looked down at her bags and back to the man, he was good looking in a very classic way. His sandy blonde hair was cut short and complimented his light brown eyes nicely. His tan was beginning to fad but still held a soft golden glow and Cuddy couldn't help but feel shy around him.

A sheepish smile found it's way across her face and she saw he was smiling too, "I'll be fine, thank-you. You've got your own bags to take care of."

The unknown man bent down and took her bags from the cement floor, "I can handle it. I wouldn't be a very good husband if I _didn't_ help you to your car.

Laughing lightly, Cuddy conceded, "Okay, I guess not."

The walk to the car was short but sweet- she wasn't accustomed to meeting handsome men in supermarkets. The whole scenario was slightly surreal; she almost felt like a teenager again and she couldn't help the butterflies dancing around her stomach.

"You're not from around here I take it?"

."No, New Jersey," The light mist falling from the sky was causing Cuddy's hair to frizz and she was suddenly feeling self-conscious, "My sister has a summer home just up the way."

She pointed north towards the mountains.

"Very nice, very nice. You're here on your own?"

She could tell he was discretely trying to inquire if she had a significant other. Typically she would lie, uninterested in being picked up by a stranger, but this time she kept it simple and honest.

"Yes. Just taking some time off work."

They had reached the car and Cuddy popped the trunk. She put the two bags she was holding in and waited for the man to put his in, "Thank-you. You can rest easy knowing you've done the right thing, you'd make a grade A husband."

"I like to think so." They shared a laugh while the man closed the trunk to the car, "I'm Dave, by the way."

"Lisa. Nice to meet you," they shook hands, mocking the formality that usually accompanied first meetings when they were joking about being married.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Taken aback by his forwardness, Cuddy raised her eyebrows, "You don't miss a beat."

Dave laughed and sheepishly looked at the ground, his hands in his pockets, "No, I guess I don't."

When Cuddy didn't reply right away Dave carried on, "I'm good company, I swear. My cooking isn't that bad either." He waited a moment, "I won't ask you to marry me, how's that?"

She laughed at him, enjoying their innocent inside joke, "Okay, that would be nice."

Dave nodded, "I'm sure it will be. Do you eat salmon? We get a lot of that stuff here and it's amazing."

"That sounds great." Cuddy said, genuinely enjoying the idea of dinner. She knew that this time away was meant for herself but didn't see the harm in a nice night with a nice man.

"It _will_ be," he emphasized, "Here's my address. Come by around six and don't worry about bringing anything, just yourself."

Dave walked away with his bag of groceries and left Cuddy feeling lighter than air.

She drove back to the cottage, a smile dancing on her face. But when the radio played an advertisement for house rentals, Cuddy was reminded of _her _House. Not being able to shake the feeling that she was doing something wrong, she spent the rest of the drive reasoning with herself. Her date with Dave was innocent and she wanted the company, she was fine with being on her own but liked the idea of having a choice. Two days was long to go without any physical human contact and she was starting to feel lonely.

XxX

As Cuddy arrived at the cottage and began to walk up the porch, she could here the phone ringing from inside. Still holding the bags, she fumbled with her keys but dropped them. She released the groceries and quickly swiped up the keys and began to fight with the aged handle. She jiggled it left, jiggled it right, and then finally unlocked it when she jiggled it up.

Abandoning the stubborn door and food, she ran to answer the phone.

"Hello?" She answered hurriedly.

A dial tone signaled the line was dead and she'd missed the call.

Cuddy huffed at the phone and hung it on the receiver, annoyed she wasn't fast enough to answer it and annoyed even more so with her sister for not having caller ID.

* * *

With both his fridge and his stomach empty, House ordered Chinese from a local shop down the road. His mind buzzing from the day's events, he opened the scotch bottle with pleasure and helped himself to more than he usually did on his first glass.

Wilson sucked him of whatever little emotional energy he had from all the conversations about Cuddy and the lack of a case as an outlet for his mental energy, was pent up and overflowing.

Not sure if he wanted to pass out or put his built-up energy to good use, House flopped down on the couch and waited for the food to be delivered.

XxX

House moved onto his fourth glass with ease. The Chinese had been delivered during drink two but his appetite had disappeared as quickly as drink three. The lack of substance and pace at which he was drinking left House feeling sufficiently drunk. He was now listening to John Coltrane playing on his stereo and humming tunelessly to the beat.

Swallowing his pride along with the remnants of drink four, he picked up the phone and dialed a number he was all too familiar with.

Her voicemail was prompted after the second ring, indicating her phone was off. Her professional tone informed the caller she was unavailable but to contact…

House hung up, frustrated she hadn't answered. The fact he was in such a state embarrassed him. He prided himself on being collected and indifferent in any situation. But now he was sitting alone on a weeknight, dousing his feelings for Cuddy in cheap scotch.

Courage and anxiousness still boiling over, House called Wilson, told him he had an emergency and browbeat him into releasing the number for the summer home. Hanging up before Wilson started asking too many questions, House dialed the long distance number and waited.

Six rings in and no one had answered. He hung up the phone and regretted calling her at all, mentally chastising himself for being so weak. He didn't have a plan of action or even the semblance of a script. Happy she wasn't available; House poured himself another drink and waited for the drunken stupor to set in.

His eyes were closed but he could feel the room spinning and his head throbbing. Slow to open his eyes, House could hear faint music coming from outside. It was still dark out and the digital clock on the VCR read 4:15 AM.

Moving cautiously to the window, House found the source of the sound and could hear it more clearly.

He kept his balance by holding onto the ledge of the window and listened to the homeless man on the steps across the street lightly strumming a guitar, cords and lyrics of 'Hallelujah' by Leonard Cohen serenading the empty block.

The alcohol was still drifting through his veins but he could think more clearly than he was minutes before he passed out.

He tried to drink her away but she followed him into his sleep. He didn't dream anything in particular, just her. She was speaking but not making sense and he tried but failed to touch her. He was getting frustrated because she wouldn't address him; he kept calling out her name but she just kept talking. Then he started to shrink; he got smaller and smaller until he couldn't see anything but white. He could feel her presence but didn't know which way to look to find her, he started walking but walked right off the platform he was standing on and woke up with a rough start.

He shook his head and tried to shake the feeling of loneliness that was shrouding him. He'd felt something similar to this when Stacy had left but thought he'd managed his life so he would never feel it again. But now, with prospects of being happy, being with Cuddy, House could no longer deny the emptiness.

* * *

A/N: Cheers for reading and reviewing! Hope everyone is enjoying it so far. Don't get frustrated, exciting stuff to come, I promise!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I know I just posted chapter five but I wrote chapter six a lot sooner than I thought I would and didn't wanna wait! It is short but it's pretty neat. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 6 (Devils Thunder)

"House?" Cuddy said, startled to see the man standing in her doorway, "What are you doing here?"

The sun had been up for about a while and the morning mist was slowly beginning to lift.

When he didn't answer, Cuddy wrapped her arms protectively around her chest, feeling naked under his gaze.

"Where's your cane?"

His eyes searched the front entrance of the house and he slowly walked into the hall. He closed the door behind him, took one of her hands and led her to the bedroom.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy asked, following him with expectations of an explanation.

"I'm fine," he answered simply, his limp barely noticeable.

"Okay then, what's going on? House, this is my bed…"

He sat down on the bed and guided her to do so as well. His hands were warm against hers and she lost all desire to speak when he slowly started gliding his fingers across her bare shoulders.

Her breath hitched and a warm sensation started to spread from the core of her body.

"I missed you, Lisa," House mumbled as he began to place chaste kisses from her shoulders down to her hands then back up again.

"I missed you too," she admitted, her heart racing at the intimacy.

While one of his hands held her hand, arm then elbow, the other was at the back of her neck, bringing them closer together.

She could feel his breath on her jaw and her eyes slipped shut, she couldn't take it anymore but didn't want it to stop. Now both hands were holding each side of her face and his mouth slowly moved closer and closer towards hers until they met.

The soft kiss but was deepened as she brought her hands up to touch his stomach. She wrapped her arms around his torso and in the feelings of having him there; it almost didn't feel real, his body, his lips and his tongue.

Finding it hard to believe, Cuddy moaned in satisfaction. She never felt so sure about something in her life, she never wanted to doubt their relationship again.

House began to push her down on the bed but she didn't hit the mattress, instead she kept on going. She tightened her grip around his back but he slipped from her and she started to fall into the darkness.

Cuddy woke with a jump, her breath and heart rate racing. She looked around the dark room, expecting to find him there but the haze of the dream lifted and she remembered where she was.

A dog at the foot of the bed looked up to her with pleading eyes. The moonlight shone in through the window, exposing the room for how empty it really way.

She readjusted in the bed and calmed herself down. All evening she'd been trying to fend off the yearning she was feeling but she couldn't keep it at bay any longer. Allowing her feelings for House to overwhelm her, Cuddy lay in bed and wondered if he was thinking about her too.

XxX

Opening her eyes from a dreamless sleep, Cuddy didn't move but just lay in bed. From her location she could look out the window and wasn't thrilled with what she saw: dark clouds and an air of thunder loomed in the distance.

Attempting to keep positive, Cuddy went for a run. Her emotions were tired of missing House and she was ashamed to admit that she wanted to go back to work to see him, to find out what he was thinking. She knew there was a 50 percent chance he would admit his feelings for her but she also knew there was a 50 percent chance he would feel the complete opposite.

Given his track record and general feelings towards the idea of a conventional relationship, Cuddy recalculated and decided that odds were more 30/70 that things would work out between them.

Unsure if her heart could take the rejection, Cuddy decided to leave the future to fate and whatever happens, happens for a reason.

Finishing the last mile in a sprint, Cuddy panted as she walked up the steps, her dream from the night before replaying in her mind.

She continued to go about her morning and went to the stables as soon as she could.

The ride up the trail had been chilly but Cuddy had worn warm layers and was excited for the ride up the mountain-riding trail. Her sister had gone on endlessly about it and she was glad for the opportunity to do it herself.

Grey clouds still filled the sky and rain would shower every now and again but she was still determined. Only when she heard a deep rumble behind the valley did she consider turning back.

Stopping at a creek for a break and to admire the view, Cuddy tied the horse to a tree and walked a bit further up the path. She spotted a couple tents and a small group of people sitting under a blue tarp, camping equipment and food scattered about.

"Hey there!" A man in canvas shorts called out.

Cuddy waved and headed back to the horse.

Riding past the group and saying hello as she did, Cuddy studied the path and evaluated the best way to maneuver up it.

The area was narrow and surrounded by thick trees and rocks. She knew the horse would make it through but tried to plan a way around being knocked over by haphazard tree branches.

She was about to turn back and find another trail up but could feel the animal beneath her begin to grow nervous. She caressed its mane and urged it to turn around slowly. But before it took its second step, a loud crash of thunder followed by a bright flash of lightening spooked the horse.

Cuddy used a firm tone and used all her strength to keep it on track, but when a second crash sounded Cuddy was violently thrown from the horse as it reared its front legs and turned to run in the opposite direction.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so this is the closest to an exciting cliff hanger I've ever been (haha, not sure if that's a good thing or a bad). I start school next week and the next chapter is going to take some research so I don't know how soon I'll have it up. I've got most of it done already but I've got to sort out the medical bits. Gotta make sure me facts are straight, yah? Not sure how accurate any of it will be seeing as I'm not a med student but a film one! Found myself a handy website though so hopefully I'll be done fast. Cheers to all who review!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 (Small World, Big Problems)

House entered his office at a slow, steady pace. He'd managed to make it into work on time but not without consequence. The night before proved to be a dumber idea than he'd thought, his pounding headache evidence to that.

Not a moment after he sat down, Wilson entered House's office.

"House…" he started as he sat down on the chair on the other side of the desk.

"Volume, down. I've got a pounding headache and haven't had time to fix it yet," House started rummaging through his desk for the bottle of Vicodin he knew was hanging about.

"Tanis called me this morning, there's been an accident," Wilson tried to convey the severity of the situation with his tone but House wasn't paying any attention.

"I don't know who Tanis is, Wilson. If you expect me to…ahah! There you are," House popped open the bottle and swallowed two dry pills, "T minus five minutes and I'll be ready for whatever it is you came here to bother me about. Until then, silence."

House brought his finger to his lips and leaned back, his eyes closing.

"Tanis," Wilson continued, unconcerned for House's headache, "Cuddy's sister."

House opened his eyes and recalled a few moments back when Wilson mentioned an accident. He deduced by the tone of his voice and his demeanor that something was amiss.

Wilson continued when he knew he held House's attention, "Cuddy was taken to Vancouver General Hospital, she's suffered sever head trauma and has been unconscious for the past 18 hours."

They kept silent and held each other's stare, both knowing how serious the situation could really be.

"What happened?" House asked, rubbing his brow.

The man sat across from him sighed heavily and perched his elbows on his knees, "She fell off a horse. Tanis was vague with the details but asked if one of us could go up there…"

"No one's with her?" House's eyes narrowed; surprised that no one from her family was at her bedside.

"Tanis' husband is away on business, leaving or bringing the kids with her isn't an option. And their parents are on a cruise in Beirut," Wilson eyed House expectantly, unsure about how the next part of their conversation was going to play out, "I would go but I'm speaking at the breast cancer seminar this afternoon."

House looked up and it dawned on him what Wilson was implying, "You want me to go?"

"That's what I was thinking, yes."

House was silently contemplating when Wilson continued to speak, "You know her just as well as anyone, House. If she hasn't woken up already she'll need a familiar face to be there when she does," Wilson waited a moment and decided to test the waters, "it doesn't mean anything if you do. It doesn't mean you love her, House. Just be there for her as a friend and help her in any way you can."

House exhaled heavily and said: "You're paying for my ticket, I hope you know."

"I wouldn't expect it any other way."

The two men stood, both growing increasingly concerned for Cuddy and the potential danger she could be in.

House wrote a note to Foreman instructing him to do work that day (or he wasn't going to pay him) and that he would be back in a couple of days. Wilson had already informed Cameron before speaking with House, knowing he wouldn't say no to going.

They stood at the door way and House turned to Wilson just as they were about to walk their separate ways, "Why the hell wasn't she wasn't wearing a helmet?"

"She was," Wilson shrugged helplessly.

He tapped his cane against the floor, his backpack securely placed over his shoulder, "I'll bring you a moose back as a souvenir."

"I'd prefer Pamela Anderson," Their smile didn't last long, their concern for Cuddy winning the battle over their sense of humors, "Call me when you get there."

House nodded curtly and went on his way.

* * *

The weather in Vancouver had done nothing for House's already miserable mood. The rain was falling down hard and it made hailing a taxicab that much more difficult. Pulling the Cripple Card, House took advantage of the first opportunity he was presented with.

A middle-aged woman began to walk to the passenger side of a white cab but before she could get in, House approached her.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to be a bother, but would you mind if I took this cab? I'm in a rush and my leg won't tolerate the wait any longer." House exaggerated his limp and put more pressure on his cane, giving the illusion he was about to topple over.

"Oh, oh of course you can! These things are near impossible to get, aren't they? Some people can be so inconsiderate…"

House quickly nabbed up the cab before she kept talking. "Thanks, really appreciate it."

The woman smiled after House as if she had done the greatest deed in the world.

"Chump Canadians," House muttered to himself as the car drove away.

The driver knew where to go and after almost two hours of relentless traffic, House finally made it to Vancouver General.

Standing in her doorway, House found himself unable to step into the room; his eyes glued on the lifeless form lying on the bed.

Making a conscious effort to walk, House eyed her monitors. He was about to grab her charts when a nurse came in and tended to her I.V drip and updated the papers on the clipboard.

She smiled kindly, letting him know that the doctor would be with him shortly. The nurse turned to leave but couldn't help but notice House's eyes: they were glued to Cuddy, a different type of pain inflicting him.

The woman notorious for being strong willed and indestructible was lying unconscious and broken in a hospital bed. Her eyes had dark circles under them and her lips were showing signs of being dry. The knot tied in his stomach tightened as he stared at her right shoulder, her entire arm bound in a cast. He tried not to think of how banged up the rest of her body was but the doctor in him knew it wasn't good.

Unprepared for how he would feel when he saw her, House finally took a seat next to the bed, the urge to hold her hand overwhelming.

He began to nurse the thought but was interrupted when a tall man in a white coat entered the room.

"Hi, I'm Dr. David Layton," the man offered his hand to House.

House was slow to take it, "Gregory House."

"Are you family? You're the first to show up…"

"I know." House stood opposite the doctor, his back turned to Cuddy.

Getting the impression House wasn't a talker, Dr. Layton proceeded to update House on Cuddy's condition, "Well, Lisa's suffered a brain contusion. Now a contusion is…"

"I don't mean to be rude, _doctor_, I know what a contusion is. I'm going to know what the rest of the stuff means too," House said sharply but stopped, remembering it wasn't this mans fault that Cuddy was in the state she was, "I'm a doctor."

Dr. Layton nodded in understanding, "There was also a small bleed, and we fixed that. She landed on her right shoulder and, as you can see, broke her collarbone. She suffered a hairline fracture down her arm but shattered her elbow."

House interrupted, shifting his stance, "Her spine?"

"It's fine. And that helmet she was wearing saved her life. She hasn't woken up yet but once she does…"

Finished listening to the doctor, House turned and sat back down.

Dr. Layton observed the couple, "Are you her husband?"

"She's my boss. You can go now, I'll monitor her condition and let you know when she wakes up."

House turned to look back at the doctor when he didn't leave. He was staring at Cuddy in an affectionate way, making House curious. He'd seen many men look at Cuddy in that but had never really cared. This time though, was different.

Dr. Layton noticed House studying him; "I've met her before. Two days ago, actually. We were shopping at the same super market," he stopped and smiled shyly, unsure if he should disclose all the details of their meeting, "we were going to have dinner."

House merely nodded, "Okay."

Feeling a foolish, Dr. Layton took the lack of conversation as his queue to leave, promising to check back in a little while.

* * *

AN: Kay, I know that's a bit soap-opera-ish but I grew fond of the character of Dave. The one in my mind, at least. Haha, this isn't going to be one of those annoying love-triangle stories, I promise. I've been a victim (for lack of a better word) of consequences the past couple of days and now more than ever, I believe it really is a small world! Things like this _can_ happen. Hope I got the medical bit right too. I mentioned before that I'm not a med student but a film one, so pleeease take it easy on me if any of it is incorrect. I tried to write House a couple different ways and thought this way was best. Tell me what you think! Reviews are so lovely.


End file.
